Men Who Talk - a podcast on men & intimacy
Men Who Talk
2. Men & Emotions

Emotions Are Not Gender-Dependent

In episode two of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations on men and intimacy with a discussion on how we are socialized to believe that women feel and “real” men don’t, and how this false belief affects close relationships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute.

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In a discussion between Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton, they explore the societal expectations and challenges around men expressing emotions. Tom reflects on his personal experiences and frustrations with the notion that men should not be emotional, citing cultural conditioning and misinterpretations of psychological theories like Carl Jung’s concept of collective unconscious. He emphasizes that emotions are universal and not gender-dependent, and criticizes the harmful stereotype that men should suppress their feelings.

Ed agrees, noting how societal “man rules” often dictate that men shouldn’t show vulnerability or emotions, leading to harmful stereotypes and ostracism. He shares his upbringing experience where displaying emotions was discouraged, even by his own mother, to avoid bullying and gain acceptance. Both men stress the importance of trust and safety in sharing emotions, highlighting the need for intimate connections where vulnerability can be expressed without judgment.

They discuss the consequences of repressed emotions, including impulsivity and ineffective expression through social media. Tom advocates for teaching emotional containment rather than suppression, allowing individuals to navigate emotions while maintaining control. He suggests that historical survival instincts to compartmentalize emotions have been misconstrued, leading to damaging beliefs about men’s emotional capacities. Ultimately, they emphasize the necessity of challenging outdated stereotypes and fostering healthy emotional expression for all genders.

Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.

© Copyright 2022, Tom Gentry; Theme music and voice by Eric Bricker. Cover photo by Muhammed Fayiz.