Sizing Each Other Up
In episode five of Men Who Talk Tom Gentry and Ed Tilton continue an eight-part series of conversations, discussing men and their struggles with meaningful friendships. Brought to you by Begin Again Institute. In this episode, we discuss The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan, and It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, by Mark Wolynn.
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Tom and Ed delve into the complexities of male intimacy and the instinctive behavior of sizing each other up. They discuss how men often assess each other in terms of status and belonging, a behavior rooted in survival instincts and the need to establish security within groups. Ed emphasizes the importance of safety in relationships and warns against the pitfalls of viewing competition as a pass-fail scenario, which can lead to relational trauma and black-and-white thinking.
Tom reflects on his personal journey, highlighting the struggle with self-esteem and jealousy when comparing himself to more successful peers. He acknowledges the need for self-acceptance and reframing negative thoughts to foster genuine happiness for others. Ed offers insights on navigating jealousy by addressing internal wounds and distinguishing between societal narratives and personal values.
Throughout the conversation, the speakers underscore the significance of individual empowerment and self-definition in masculinity, urging men to prioritize personal growth over external markers of success. They advocate for authenticity in relationships, emphasizing the role of inner work in achieving fulfillment and meaningful connections. The dialogue touches on themes of identity formation, family dynamics, and the pursuit of genuine self-worth beyond superficial measures of status.
Since 2008, Begin Again Institute has specialized in helping men heal both their sexually addictive behaviors and rebuild relationships with damaged wives and partners. Begin Again Institute was founded to specialize in intensive treatment for sex and pornography addiction. Their partner-sensitive treatment program utilizes the TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) model, coupled with the TASK Approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
© Copyright 2022, Tom Gentry; Theme music and voice by Eric Bricker. Cover photo by Muhammed Fayiz.
